Coming Back To Life

[BrightFuture]

Thanks, job. Your advice is always clear and to the point.

Job, I’ve read your post to Ambivalent thread where you said that it was clear to you that her H was gradually cutting the ties. I’m curious what you think about my sitch. My H did all these things (communication only by text and e-mail, mostly, separate banking accounts, living in another part of the country or vacation home, etc.) and even discussed the D. I’m absolutely sure that he wanted to end the M. But this is where I get confused. Why is he still maintaining some of the ties though? Why he hasn’t filed? Why he allows me to maintain the business and do things for him? Why he keeps some of his mail coming to my house? Is it just the cake eating? He would proud himself to not take advantage of anybody and especially me. He is one of these people who makes a decision and sticks to it. At least originally and for a period of time.

In March, when I went to our vacation home thinking that I would just stay in another room while he was there, he moved out. He explained it to our friends that he didn’t want to give me a false hope and he didn’t want to hurt me. I was actually surprised that he thought I was coming with the purpose of R talk or something like that, because I didn’t have any agenda with him. At the same time he didn’t remove any of my stuff from the master bedroom up there. Everything stayed intact when I came over after he left for work. Sometimes I think that he is the biggest coward, just trying to pretend that he is strong and decisive.

I guess I’m just getting to the point when I’m not sure what I’m doing any more and why.

I kind of have this feeling that H might try to arrange something with the family during holidays. I wish he would just stay where he is and not stir the pot. I think I’m not ready for any kind of changes at this point, good or bad. No, I didn’t say it correctly. I’m prepared for the bad, but I just don’t want any changes. I need more time to go through my part of the journey, so I could be absolutely sure whether I want him to still be part of my family traditions or not.