I know this seems to be a good ole boys thread, for the most part, but, that wont stop me.
Originally Posted By: Mach1
Oh, and no naughty list for me, I get into enough trouble on my own : )
Enough said. ^^^^
Originally Posted By: Mach1
Any of this make sense?
Hey JF, whenever you need my crytic decoder ring, you let me know.
You know J, in the grand scheme of things, it really doesnt matter whether live in is better or whatev. It is what it is and that's what you have to deal with. Either way, your stuff is the same.
So, couple of things. I get that you were trying to engage her with the green beans. And I know you feel you want to explain stuff to her - how she's wrong. You are different, it's not a show, etc.
The thing of it is that she cant hear you. To her all she hears is blah, blah, blah. There he goes again. She isnt capable of hearing you right now.
Your job right now is to give her as much space as you can. It is to figure your sh!t out and to get out of the way of hers.
The goal each day is to be the man you want to be. You wont always make it, but, that should be the goal. Until eventually, it is who you are.
Telling her that you have to pick up the slack because she isnt doing it, isnt, I would think, being the man you aim to be, right?
You can make yourself crazy trying to figure stuff out. That's why it is best to just remember to live your life without regard to her actions and words.
She is telling you she doesnt want to be married right now, you need to hear that. Doesnt mean it will always be that way. Just that it is how it is right now.
So, since you have heard that, you now need to let her see that you have. That means no telling her you love her, no expectations, no assuming anything.
Do what you need to do for you and for your children. That doesnt mean to be unfriendly. It doesnt mean to be spiteful.
It just means that you heard her and you are giving her the space she is clearly telling you she needs.
Be the person that you want to be. Regardless of her actions, words or reactions.
