[SemperFi00]

So Tgiving weekend activities were a little mixed……

Had some time off work (W-T-F & M) and we drove down W’s sister’s place on Thurs and Fri. W’s whole family was there – (sister and her H, mom, StepD, step brother and his fiance’, brother and all the nieces and nephews, etc……).

Different physical location than the past few years – but much of the same interactions around eating, watching football, telling stories, cooking, shopping, playing pool, playing football, etc… One difference was that when we left the house both days W began to move back to being more distant and less interactive….

I had made up mind that I was going to act like myself regardless of current situation and where W was at emotionally and I think for the most part I was able to do that. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit to the fact that on a couple of occasions I was thinking I could really end up missing this and wished that W could begin to reach out and allow us to build something new….

One really weird action on her part that I didn’t understand – all the adults and older children were in the dining room eating Tgiving dinner and W chose to sit in the kitchen w/kids versus eating with the rest of us. I asked her 1x to join us and let her know that there was plenty of room – unknown to me her S also had same conversation 2x w/her. After dinner, as we were all telling stories and stating what we were thankful for she came in for a few minutes. BIL made a point of recognizing that she joined us and tried to get her to state what she was thankful for but to no avail………

W’s reaction seemed very strange to me but the difference in my behavior was that I asked/offered and then left it up to her. In the past- if she had done something similar - I think that I would have asked multiple times and tried to convince her to join us. I wish that she would have joined us but I didn’t get overly concerned about it or allow her reaction to influence how I interacted with the rest of them.

Don’t quite know/understand how I feel about how I handled that situtation – many different thoughts on it. Doesn’t feel good that she didn’t want to engage with the rest of us, sad that she is in such a tough conflicted spot right now, stronger because I was able to not over react, a little more distant myself and not sure at times where I want things to go, etc ..........

Oh well, more to reflect on and experiences to grow from I guess………