Where am I at pt 2

[dingo]

I disagree with your last statement. Almost every situation on these forums has at its roots, poor communication. Someone somewhere posted a comment from a marriage seminar or counselor or something along those lines where the speaker said "there must be another group that has all of the bad spouses in it because everyone in my group claims they were the good spouse."

Most people are genuinely good folks, truly love their spouses and want them to have a good life and be happy. The problem is that people tend to do a poor job communicating their needs and receiving communication about their spouses needs. As further testament to this- the BD is called that because nobody ever expects it. Every single story on these forums starts with 'I never saw this coming.' If spouses could learn to communicate better, the dire state of their marriages would be understood and steps could be taken to prevent it from getting to the state that you find here.

With that said, communication is a 2 way street. You need to know how and when to talk and how and when to listen- really listen. When your w is truly ready to reconcile, she will understand that her inability to express herself and her needs in a way that your could understand is 50% of the cause. The other 50% is your inability to really listen to her.