SM, I think that might be the most humble post I've read from you. I believe you'll find more are willing to help when you are truly trying to look at SM and what you have to do. For a very long time you tried to blame all of this bad stuff on some condition she may have, the difference in your families, society, etc. I see it as pretty much normal with LBS's, as they try to rationalize why this has happened to them. But now you seem to sound as if you are ready to let all of that go, and start dealing with the stitch you find yourself in.
The truth is we all may have a little different opinion or view point on some of the questions you've asked. The men may see it different from the women. The WAS may see it different than the LBS. And remember that everyone's stitch is individual...so reading other threads, or even all the advice on your own thread, could sound contradicting and confusing.
I've been around a while now and I'm still reading some old advice that was being passed around when I first came. However, I had not read it in MWD's book. Which doesn't mean it would or wouldn't work with some people. I'm just saying don't look at it as a "rule". After all, I give advice that certainly isn't in her books either!
I say all of that just to let you know I actually sympathize with others who feel confused about what they should do. I will also tell you that I have given a little different advice to people (based on their stitch), so you have to decide if you could do what you read, if it goes against your standards of belief, etc. That is why people continue to tell you to decide what "you" want. You read the given advice and then you decide what you are willing to do, what you can or can't live with, and if you are capable of carrying through.
For what it's worth here, my H's "consequences" for me was him acting cold to me. Do you want to know how well it worked? It didn't. He came off looking like a jerk and it just made me react worse.
I don't think that is what people mean when they tell you to stand up for yourself. Maybe you could google that term of expression and see if you get a better description. I know I am not one who gets my point across well at times, and I use a lot of idioms.
Wow, I just checked back and saw where more have posted while I've been on this one.....so I better go read.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
