Why are you spending so much time with W? Are you trying to “show her things”…maybe subtle hints or actions that deep down inside you “hope she sees”. At the end of the day, I think Mach said it best but I will try to paraphrase….. “do you”…be YOU because YOU want to be…do things YOU want to do – not to secure a response from her.
Hey Mach – I’ll go back to my hole now
Spent so much time with W because we are still living together, still sharing the same bed, have 2 sons, and have to share in the responsibilities of the parenting. Last week was lots of time together because of the Holiday.
I am standing for my marriage and trying to protect my kids and our finances. I've stopped trying to share time with her at the house. She has reminded me that she "does not love me" enough times. She has seen things changing about me and spewed venom in my face about it. Others have stated to her that I am different. She has thrown that up in my face.
As stated earlier, I was in a much better place before last week.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
4) Ghetto - reserved for those moment when I need to say "U need me to get ghetto on your as*.
and finally,
5) English.
Oh...I also speak tutu (inside joke here).
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Spent so much time with W because we are still living together
I did it for over 2 years. It sucked big time.
Quote:
I am standing for my marriage and trying to protect my kids and our finances
Oh…I get it…especially the finance part. I personally, hid behind that for a long time. Kids – yep it [censored]…it really does. Sad as it is, they are truly the victims here. That said, you can in some ways (as best as one can) try to minimize the damage but at the end of the day – YOU buddy only have CONTROL over YOU. You can TRY and CONTROL her, the kids, the house, the finances….but just remember, life if fluid man. It flows… you can only control you and learn how to accept that things happen for a reason and sometime we do not understand the reason for a very long time.
As for “standing for your M” – I am not questioning that. It is not place to tell you to stand or not to stand. Not even my place to question it. But if you would not mind….I have a question for you.
Quote:
She has reminded me that she "does not love me" enough time
What does her “loving you look like”? AND what does “loving YOURSELF look like”?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Thanks to Mach and the boys I have spent lots of time delving into the concept of love and weeding my own garden. I think that's why recent developments have me pi$$ed off a little. Not at her, but at myself for letting these actions bug me.
I'm not sure W has ever known how to love anyone completely. Much abandonment, baggage, and walls for protection.
Loving myself is being comfortable in my own skin. Searching for my center. Exploring my own spirituality, my own happiness. Finding ways to validate my own existence by being a rock for my sons during this crisis and their formative years. Keeping myself physically fit and continuing to delve into self improvement.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
On a serious note, this process is hard man. It will be the hardest thing you do, at the same time the most rewarding (although it will not feel that way for a while) - IF you allow it to be.
Quote:
Not at her, but at myself for letting these actions bug me
First, they are gonna bug you. If they didn't I'd be calling you the alien. The key IMO, is how long and how far reaching you allow the bother/pain/grief/anger/etc. to go. Do you allow it to consume you or do you ACCEPT that it is what it is.
Quote:
I'm not sure W has ever known how to love anyone completely
Maybe she can't - who knows. Either way....at some point, her actions or lack of actions will not matter to you. The "some point" is defined by YOU and YOU alone.
Gotta go...I'm gonna send Mach a few spam emails (he likes that).
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Don't sell yourself short there my little tutu wearin, glitter covered friend..
Word is out that you pulled your own weed(s) fairly often...
Quote:
First, they are gonna bug you. If they didn't I'd be calling you the alien. The key IMO, is how long and how far reaching you allow the bother/pain/grief/anger/etc. to go. Do you allow it to consume you or do you ACCEPT that it is what it is.
And as much as it pains me to say this....
He is spot on with that...^^^
I would wonder about you more, if you didn't feel those things...
