INTERESTING STORY _____________________________________________________
Went out last weekend with an old friend. He is also facing a separation and his wife wants out. Anyway, he had invited a friend of his, a lady friend.
I got into a conversation with this lady friend that was very interesting. She is a 44 year old who has been living in an in house separation for 10 years! She has three kids with her husband and for ten years they have lived together but separately.
Of course I told her there is no way I would last ten years and already I'm surprised I've lasted this long. But lets skip to the important part....
She asked me about what my wife does and how she talks to me, and whether she still does things around the house etc.... Then she said something interesting...
She said, "I have lived with my husband for 10 years because I still love him and still care about him, AND STILL WOULD LIKE OUR MARRIAGE TO WORK. But he hasnt been listening to me. He hasnt tried to really HEAR what my complaints are. He just doesnt get it. Every so often I check to see if he has gotten it, so that we can start over, but then i find he hasnt. Your wife is telling you she cares but that something is not right. Listen to her. Really listen to her. She is telling you again and again what is wrong. If she wanted out she would be long gone like people do when they cant stand their spouse anymore."
I told her my wife really hadnt said anything more as far as her complaints since the day of BD. So she said....
"No, she has. She is saying it all the time. She is checking to see if the marriage can work, all the time. She is waiting to see if you will get it, if you can really understand her".
I spent the rest of the night dumbfounded. I mean this lady is not an expert like some of you here on the boards. But I was sitting with a real life woman who left her husband emotionally but not really physically....and she was telling me she STILL looks over her shoulder every so often to see if things could be better.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
