Take what I say with a grain of salt as I have not read your entire sitch…but a couple of things in your more recent post stood out to me.
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She says its all a F-ing show.
Who give a F* what she says or feels? Do you?
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I have reassured her that I understand why she has reservations about believing me
“reassured her”? Really? So you have VALIDATED how/why she views you a certain way. Hmmm…how is that working out for you?
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I have also reassured her that in no way do I want to do all the housework, but it just needs to be done. I don't want to be perfect or a martyr (got that one too). I just don't want the house to fall apart and to be able to survive this mess by finding my true self in it all.
I appologize if I missed something in an earlier post….why do you keep feeling the need to “reassure her”. What is the purpose of YOUR WORDS?
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we have the chance to figure what middle we can meet at, get to test whose method, or some combined method, works better.
“we”…..hmmm…interesting word to use. “we”. Can I ask how you think this is going to work? I suspect, that W has HER agenda, which chances are is very different than yours.
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I calmly told her that it was a lot of things
“Told Her”….how is TELLING HER working out for ya?
JF – I suggest spending a lot less time….”assuring her”, “telling her”, “understanding her”, “reassure her”, trying to explain things to her, trying to get her to “see it”….and spend more time drinking a big glass of STFU and working on and being you.
Remember….although it may not “feel like it” right now….you really do have the power over how you deal going forward. As someone once told me....YOU control when it is OVER - ONLY YOU.
Finally,
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Latest round of venom and spending an entire week around W with too much interaction has set me back a bit. Holiday shopping, blah Thanksgiving, days off work, rain so I cant run, etc. etc. etc.
Why are you spending so much time with W? Are you trying to “show her things”…maybe subtle hints or actions that deep down inside you “hope she sees”. At the end of the day, I think Mach said it best but I will try to paraphrase….. “do you”…be YOU because YOU want to be…do things YOU want to do – not to secure a response from her.
Hey Mach – I’ll go back to my hole now
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
