The open marriage thing is tough. I'm not sure its a marriage anymore at this point, but I know what you are saying. My daughter starts her new school on Monday and its a county program for children who have learning delays. Hopefully they can help us get daughter to a position where she is manageable! Right now, it would drive someone insane to take care of her on your own. We pretty much take it in turns to keep her entertained so that works out in our "separation".
Speech therapist and social worker advised me NOT to do anything that would change D3 life too much right now. At least until she settles into the new program, although they recommended not until she is caught up with Pre K requirements that she needs to meet by next August. Tough spot.
It is interesting to note, again, that its the women who are giving the toughest advice. Accuray and MrBond where investigating options for positive interactions with her, but the women always bring up the same points...SM I cant believe you are OK with this, SM when are you going to stand up for yourself, SM when are you going to put an end to this open marriage....
The truth is, I feel very cornered in my life. I need my wife's input with the bills right now if I want to provide a decent life for my daughter. I need my wifes help with D3 because she is somewhat out of control and has tantrums (Sensory Processing Disorder). Also, disrupting the life of D3 by having her go back and forth between two homes (not sure where Wife would go) would be detrimental to her emotional well being in her current state.
So what do I do, WITHIN MY CURRENT SETUP? I cannot, with a clear conscience, blow up my wifes life because of the above reasons.
And that is why I have chosen to be withdrawn and emotionally not available. It is the closest I can get to being physically separated in order to show W that she cant have me too. And it seems to work in that she starts to call and message and plan things for us to do. But then some folks (mostly the women) then advise me not to do anything with her, and I get the "SM I cannot believe...(insert pathetic behavior) LOL.
I Cannot believe it either! I cannot believe I am in this situation! I cannot believe MY wife wants to LEAVE ME!
But it is what it is, and I must deal with is as best I can.
Well i'll join the women, you do know that you've just about emasculated yourself more than she EVER could. What you allow will be permitted. It's not a healthy enviroment for a child to be subject to. There aren't any awards for taking abuse!
