on the edge pt 2

[dingo]

Thanks JP. I do feel a little more confident that I can do this. I'd like some advice on something. My wife and I have still not agreed on whether she is pushing the D or we are separating. The last thing said on the subject was me stating that I would not tolerate an open marriage and as long as you continue that, you cannot come home and we will not see each other.

She will be at the house tonight and is expecting me to be there. We last talked about a couple of days with NC and then talking about things tonight. If we do a separation, she and I need to discuss and agree on the financial arrangements. I have been preparing myself all day for this meeting. I will be there when she arrives and then leave, dressed up to go out, within about 30 mins of her arrival. I have nowhere to go tonight- just heading to my mom's for dinner- but I want to make it look like I have plans. I will be cheery, happy and easy going.

Here are my questions:

Is it important that I know her intentions with the D paperwork or should I just let that dog lie? I feel like I need to know something but I feel like she could still very well be wavering and could still change her mind back and forth.

How about the financial situation? Is that all that important to discuss now or is it likely to just add more tension?

I know I do not need to restate my position on the OM. The best I am hoping for from her at this point is some time apart (she and I- j won't try to control who else she spends time with) for us both to get some space and figure out what we want.

Do I just let her bring up things she wants to talk about?

Do I not entertain any R discussions?