No communication = no food?

This is not a punishment for him not behaving how you would like.

You admitted you backslid, just pick up and carry on.

You are also in the "I will hurt first so I don't get hurt again" vicious cycle.

Your H left you the first time and I bet that a lot of this behaviour has to do with putting up walls.

GAL always works. It works for you and if you are wondering what he is doing the reverse is true, I promise.