Oh I don't mind the story at all. It makes me happy to know there are kids out there like your son who are so kind and wonderful to these kids who sometimes need it the most. My son had some friends like that in Middle School, but sadly his new placement for High School moved him out of his home school and away from those kids who have known him for years. Boy Scouts is kind of our life raft to keep those kinds of relationships with people who accept him for his gifts and make the best they can with the rest of it.
My son is amazing. Even with all the challenges I can't imagine my life without him. I wrote my H a message just now that he can read on the computer when he has time. I would have rather done it in person, but I don't know if I will get that kind of time while the words are still sitting on my brain the way they are right now.
Poor H. His message program is going to be filled with quite an amalgam of surprises tomorrow, or whenever he decides to return. "I saw your smiling mug on her facebook. I see that I am the one getting the "other woman treatment", everything makes so much more sense now." "Our girlfriend Tina Fey is in the new Muppet Movie (inside joke, he and I both love the Muppets, they are prime nostalgia to our childhoods, his OW is afraid if them)."I blocked you both on facebook. Now you can go ahead and "take pictures of you _something inappropriate for public here_ if that makes you happy, and I will have to go out of my way to see that BS." And then several paragraphs of "I know you didn't have an ideal childhood... I hope you will think about the ways in which this situation could effect our son. It's already having effects (listed examples), and there could be lasting effects. Consider the effect your own parent's decisions and behaviors have come to bear on the way you see the world, the way you trust or don't trust people, the way in which you are able to open yourself up and relate to other people in your life like myself and son... what effects could this situation have on him for years to come, etc. It's not too late to work on that relationship and make it better, and I think it is important to consider that even though you don't want there to be, there could be emotional and psychological ramifications of this situation on son whether you mean for there to be or not. "
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
And I did specifically address that he is a teenaged BOY. There are things involved there that just aren't in my wheelhouse no matter how hard I try to understand them. He needs his Dad to be there to address those things I as a woman, just cannot do. He needs a Dad to tell him, "It's normal. It's okay. I love you anyways. You are growing into a fine young man and I am proud of you." Having his Dad walk out of his life is very likely to send a different sort of message to a kid who already needs stability in his life and reassurance. I don't think you want that message to be, "Sorry kid, I was too busy chasing my own happiness to worry about the baggage I was handing off to you in the process."
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Okay, if you have the information that the other woman is jealous...LUCKY YOU! Now, the more you discuss her with your H. the more power she has. TAKE IT BACK! Use this tid bit of info. and bust on!
By constantly bringing her up , in his eyes you are harping. Let her be the harpy! Use the home court advantage. If she is already sharing this with him, this is goooood. Remember, we are the spouses a fool would want to leave.
As for the parenting situation...he is into his pleasure, not into issues. You are going to need to step up to the plate and be both for a bit.
Remember the mantra...does this bring us closer or push us apart.
Oh, and I'm on FB. Friend me! I believe I'll be easy to recognize
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Was the posting to his computer to help you? Maybe you could post here instead. We would love to give you a whack a spouse hammer
But seriously? The message to your H is what?
I see you giving more weight to OW and H's situation than necessary.
If you want to talk about son and the implications of H's decisions, I think that it is a conversation you need to have face to face, with firm boundaries set for H and his visitation with son and your access to car for son's needs. What his part will be moving forward. What about a night off for you? Get out and have fun
