Back....again.

[Lll54]

Do you find that manipulation? Am I being naive when I think he is right? And I should have stuck up for him?

I can tell him time and time again how much I love him and how much I want to be with him and he now says that doesn't matter because now I lie, and now he knows how I really feel by not standing up for him.

There was a text where I told my mom that after he came home last time I had him under my wing and I've lost that. He threw that in my face today. I was speechless. I can't believe I even said that.

Got home from school and he is still quite sad and depressed and not talking like 6 months ago after his 2nd bomb. He wasn't exactly initiating touch but he was leaving take my son to the city for eye surgery so when I got near he didn't put his arms out for me but came close as to wanting a hug. So I hugged him. He was receptive to it and I kissed his cheek. Then again a few minutes later as he was actually walking out the door he came close again as to wanting more? So I hugged him again. But I didn't say I love you. Just said let me know you made it there safely. (The highway is really bad as we just had an intense blizzard). He said ok. Talk to you soon and left.

I kept a happy mood. Tried to act as if. And showed no sadness or tears.