[SemperFi00]

labug, have continued to think about some of the comments from your last post…… From my perspective I think you would be a great DB coach and may have missed your true calling in life….. Appreciate your continued interest and comments……..

Maybe it's also not guilt about trying to fix her but rather that I haven't found the right way to say or show her that staying together deserves more effort that what we have given it so far?????

That's still trying to fix. I don't know if it's guilt you're feeling or frustration that there is no fixing this. I think there's a lesson to be learned from all the difficult things we encounter in life. You don't know what's beyond this, what's in store for you.

I think you may be on to something here ^^^^. Maybe it isn’t really so much guilt (I think that I have begun to come to grips with the fact that I can really only control my efforts to improve) and now is more a sense of frustration that there is only so much that I can do to help and support her – and it may not be enough.

Also some real sadness seeing her in such a tough and conflicted spot??? As others here have articulated, I don’t like being where I am currently at but neither would I want to trade places with where W is currently at…..

And you are absolutely correct - don't know what is in store moving forward.......

Don't understand all the ins/outs of depression but for the life of me I can't think of what she has to not be happy about. Great life ecomonically, relatively healthy, 3 healthy, well behaved children, etc......

Just let me say this, about that^^^ I would ask that you educate yourself about depression. I was depressed for a long time and it's not about being happy or unhappy or what you have or don't have. It runs much deeper. The stigma and judgment that surround it is what keeps people from seeking treatment and getting better.

So let go of the judgment and find out what it's really all about. When we are judging a person, even if we never say a word, they can usually feel it.

Will work on getting a better understanding of depression. I am sure there is much to search on. The internet is a wonderful thing....... And this may also line up with some of here initial comments when going to IC. She started by saying that she went because she knew that she had everything in the world to feel happy/thankful about but couldn't/didn't feel that way and therefore felt that she was "broken".

All the things you mention are contributing factors for sure but they are hers to figure out and deal with. That doesn't mean you shouldn't educate yourself but you can't fix her. This is one of those unconditional love, support from afar situations. I think you have some empathy for her... sometimes we just have to turn things over to the Higher Power.

^^^^ Yes, yes, yes! Need to keep referring and commit to memory.