Look what the cat dragged in! (TL)

[Not Quitting]

JFun, set up a FB account with DB as part of your name, then just look up one of us - I'm NQ Noquitdb. There's a whole bunch of us from this forum on there.

[tigerlily78]

NotQuitting: I looked because I am an idiot. I know this. I went for a good month without looking.

I think it was just this feeling in the back of my head that *I* am the one getting managed and budgeted for like *I* am the OW just made me want to look and see.

Before he was very particular about NO ONE putting him on their Facebook, no one talking about him on Facebook. I was told I can no longer even insinuate things about him on MY facebook. So now he is there posing with her on Facebook. It was her birthday. I got an hour long lunch. She got the whole weekend and pictures on her facebook.

I guess I just needed to see to what extent I am being hoodwinked.

[Not Quitting]

Tiger, my H never had his picture on his FB profile. It was always something other than his photo. Now his FB pic is one of him and OW - complete opposite to how he was until he met the trash he now hangs around with. And I only saw it because he's friends with our son on FB and our son asked about it (he didn't know about OW until that point).

And he once told me that OW was jealous of him spending any time with me. Like she has a right to be jealous - she's the one with no morals or ethics, who was so desperate for a BF that she had to chase a married man.

Now, foam 2x4 for looking at her FB pic. You know it was wrong, so you're not going to do it again are you!
Like I said - sounds like your H could easily be one of the quads with mine and the others LOL.

[bustingout]

I am only echoing what has been said ...NO FB! I had to literally deactivate my account for a year to stop doing it. It was definitely one of my steps towards healing.

See you on the alt...

[tigerlily78]

I wish I could take some comfort from knowing he came out of the same pod as some others... but from looking at everyone else's situations it seems like this model is a particularly tricky one. :P

My H mentioned that too, very early on, "That OW is jealous of the relationship you have with me." Oh really? The sort of relationship where one of you just gives the other the heave-ho on a moment's notice after 16 years and having a child together?

I have to just go back to the basics. What they are doing in this moment doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It is following a script. It's what that relationship is supposed to be... faking and trying too hard until that [censored] gets tiring.

I have to feather my nest with warmth and wait for him to be ready to land back here and rest.

I do really worry though that having safe harbor part of the time is what will make him be able to hold up this farce for that much longer. He doesn't have to carry the burden everyday 24/7. He gets to come home and take off the facade and rest up in between.

[Pudmuddle]

Well she should be jealous, she wants your life but is too insecure to find someone who isn't in a committed relationship!

He is a tricky one, but I do have the same concerns as you. I am wondering if I keep making things so safe and warm, well what will trigger him to realize what he is doing is...just plain wrong.

But seriously we don't want them the way they are right now. If this is what my H chooses to be then I may have to move on when I see he won't or can't do that. That is why we must wait, be mz congeniality and wait...and oh, wait some more.

I hear ya Tigs.

[tigerlily78]

Oh she thought she found a bachelor because he strung her along and didn't say otherwise until it was "too late, they were already in love". So love makes it okay, don't you know.

At least the good news is he won't be in a big hurry to marry her either.

[Pudmuddle]

Apparently love is the answer, because H's OW thinks he has asked me for a D, and the words have never come out of his mouth to me...Sometimes the MLC forgetfulness can work in our favor. Ha!

[JuneReN]

I know a job would probably help, I am trying. I really was hoping to get hired on at the grocery store around the corner. They even get seasonal bonuses and that is potentially a job with a pathway to more hours and a career eventually, more so than working part time at a pizza place.

Yes, some adult human interaction that is not focused ON and AROUND MLC drama would be a good change.

So go back and sell yourself for the job, hun. Be a Tiger

Don't hope, focus and plan and go!!! The job will help with everything, it's true. Best GAL ever....

[JuneReN]

My H mentioned that too, very early on, "That OW is jealous of the relationship you have with me." Oh really? The sort of relationship where one of you just gives the other the heave-ho on a moment's notice after 16 years and having a child together?

I have to just go back to the basics. What they are doing in this moment doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It is following a script. It's what that relationship is supposed to be... faking and trying too hard until that [censored] gets tiring.

I have to feather my nest with warmth and wait for him to be ready to land back here and rest.

I do really worry though that having safe harbor part of the time is what will make him be able to hold up this farce for that much longer. He doesn't have to carry the burden everyday 24/7. He gets to come home and take off the facade and rest up in between.

Perfect hun. My H's and I relationship was the end of both his other GF's

But I got strong and kind and good. I was funny, supportive, available, yet not.

I threw my empathy out to GF2 when she had a particularly hard time.

Still struggle with GF1. Frankly, if massage girl met an unfortunate end tomorrow I wouldn't cry.

Get that job. Become self sufficient (or kinda, I'm in the same boat). Don't be around when he is (or at least less...GAL!!)

No OW talk, cuz you? You don't care.

Wait for it, cuz H will say "Oh and Tiger Lily does this" or "Tiger Lily said"

Mark my words, our sitches have a lot of similarity (except for the money thing-you'll need a job)

H is not through with you. Tread carefully and one day you will realize that you have the power here. He can leave, screw who he likes, marry, divorce, whatever, but every single decision you make..from now on...is yours for you.