Being the nice person isn't always fun!

[tigerlily78]

I think we all have those moments where we need to get it off our chest and stop sparing the MLCer from the illusion that everything is just hunkeydory for everyone now that they have moved on to living their own life.

I think small, controlled, INFREQUENT bursts of truth are okay. I almost think they are necessary or we would all be joining the MLCs in the cuckoo bin.

It appears like what you did was good. I think I take it overboard at times, and am pushing too frequently, which is not good. He needs to see that people are hurting because of his actions. Not because of the initial BD (yes that does hurt too), but that even outside of that he is making a chain of decisions that just KEEP hurting people.

You both cried and hugged. I would take that as sign that a good portion of it got through to him. The question will be whether it sticks and initiates some changes/effort on his part.

job is right, giving time to process and react is important. I think this is where I keep really messing up.