Deep breathe ... I cant change H. I cant change how he chooses to live his life. I cant make him want to be here, to be a family or to be with me. I can only control myself, my life and my interactions with the kiddos.
This is one that I need to repeat to myself many times a day. During our M, I tried to do exactly this. I don't think I'm going out on a limb to say it backfired big time.
I know this is easier said than done, but try not to dwell on what's going to happen in February. As labug said to me, you don't know how you will feel then. Heck, you don't even know whether it will actually happen.
I am also wondering - when you really think about it, are you actually upset because (or only because) your H isn't going to see the kids three weekends in a row, or are you hurt that he is going away with OW (or even just without you, or instead of being with you), but it's coming out as something that sounds more reasonable and sympathetic? Just asking because I have noticed that I get mad at H for things having to do with the kids (or the dishes that he took, or whatever), but when I dig a little deeper, I realize that whatever I am thinking I am angry about is really just a cover for what I am *actually* upset about.
Keep working on you and enforce your boundaries!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
