Back....again.

[Lll54]

The "what to say" and "how to act" are being true to yourself and repsecting yourself. And until you spend some time dealing with your issues, you can't hope to repair your marriage—if it even can be repaired at this point.

I know. This is exactly how I get every time this happens. My fear overrides my intelligence. I know what I need to do. I know what I should be doing in respect to myself. I know all these things. I'm just so petrified for my marriage to be over that I let myself act this way and do these things. It's sad really.

I love that man more than anything in the world and I just want my family back together.

I didn't initiate anything this morning. He actually touched me first and held my hand when I was saying goodbye before I left for school. I responded but that was it. I'm trying to just detach and wait until he may want to talk.

The only thing I wonder about is if I detach, gal, act as if I know he won't bring it up cause he doesn't like to "talk". I'm scared it will just be one of those times where it just gets left unsaid and sits under the rug and never gets dealt with.