A mutual friend told me he saw her and a friend at a bar and she wasn't drinking or smoking anymore. She has changed her status to -in a relationship with this guy- almost a week ago. Her and this mutual friend are still friends on FB. He thinks she knows that he told me of OM because she told him that she doesn't want to hurt me. But she is obviously avoiding it. She also stated to him that we are getting a divorce-no maybe but we are.
She still has feelings for me but doesn't want be with me. We can't talk about our relationship because she's not to a point to reconcile or have anything to do with me.
I'm struggling with staying with NC at the moment, letting this happen (I have no choice), continue bettering myself, giving it and her time. OR doing that AND talking about the affair now. Get it over with and her tell me we ARE getting divorced.
If/when we talk about the affair I have the right to ask why, how long, if she plans to continue. I will let her talk and not interrupt.
It seems unfair that she isn't willing to talk about our relationship, situation, or anything.
---- She's done something like this before when we were dating. We started getting real serious and lived together. She wanted time and space for herself. It was over a month and was tough and I was better then with NC and giving her the space. Then it was a bf/gf but this is marriage. When they ended she came back and told me she dated another man, how bad he was, she missed me, she was confused, hurt, etc. We talked it out and decided to date again. We took it slow and in time decided to marry. We lived together again and things were good. She didn't contact him and we were getting married. I think she's still in a fog right now.
I thought this may be a similar thing. We talked about children and decided to try back in August. Friends told us what to expect and her mother was happy and couldn't wait for another grandchild. I think this may have pressured her. She did miss friends and where we used to live(where her parents are and she is now), and the state of our marriage was hurting her.
