I'm not afraid to take a stand.......

[Wonka]

WR,

I went back and reviewed all earlier postings. Guess what? There's good news for you.

You now have H completely cornered with no clear way out.

1) Your lawyer sent the financials to H's lawyer back in October
2) Your lawyer sent a follow-up email in mid/late November to get a response to the financials. Nothing.
3) H has not been paying his lawyer
4) Therefore there will be no movement from his side
5) H is completely broke...no money
6) H has not been paying you child support
7) H has not reimbursed you the money owed from that check
8) H isn't getting any more money from you until child support and other relevant matters are settled FIRST

And how do you suppose the Court will view all of this if and when H dares to show up and "represent" himself next Friday?

When looking at all of this in totality, I'd say there is no need to be fearful of H's texts anymore. He's nothing but a shadow. Are you afraid of a shadow, WR? Absolutely NOT!

One final piece of advice: Let your lawyer do the talking on the 13th.

[Whiterose]

OMG Wonka that made me laugh. I like
WR: 1
Peter Pan: 0.

I've heard nothing from him since and may or may not. Will see what happens I the next looooooong 9 days.

I'll make sure sll his fn tools short out on him Job. Get him electrified!!!!

THE ABSOLUTE GALL I didn't ask for this. I don't want this and I'm not going to help so I'm being unreasonable. Yeah, you're F'ed in that pretty head of yours!!!!

GO TEAM!

[Whiterose]

When you put it like that Wonka you have a very valid point.........he's a 6' 200lbs shadow. Sad. So sad........he actually remind me of his shell of a dad. I pity them

[LoisB]

Is it horrible that I'm getting some vicarious satisfaction from your situation?

Heather

[Whiterose]

Not at all heather:)

[AJM]

WOW AJ....that was quite the 2 x 4 upside the head.....I know that we can never have what we had, but, what makes you so sure that he won't put the brakes on at some point?

Have you seen it yet? The reason why it doesn't matter if he does put the brakes on? If not, I see it as because even if he did, you couldn't trust him. You. This is really not as much about him or his antics. This isn't about him bullying you. That's what is in your face, certainly. And it needs to be dealt with. But the truth is, he could say he had an epiphany on his way to work and was healed by a guy with a beard that put mud on his eyes and now he wants to come back etc... But you couldn't trust him.

Will he put the brakes on at some point? I submit that if he did, you'll be long gone and it won't matter what he does. You'll wish him well and wish him to be further away at the same time. You'll wake up in the morning grateful that you are no longer "connected" to him. Perhaps missing what you had, but also looking forward to what you'll have next.

Not trying to clue-by-four you. Trying to help you change perspective to deal with what is at hand. Clearly and calmly.


AJ

[Whiterose]

Thank you AJ. You've given me things to think about

[Whiterose]

I don't know if I'll trust him if he comes home....after his eyes are cleaned by the guy with the long beard and the mud . I've thought, since he left, that I haven't fully trusted him since he left the first time (when I got pregnant with S19) It's one of the things I've been working through.

I see that you can't fully love someone if you can't trust them........

I very much miss what I had, the good parts anyway, but as we move forward I see that as good a man as he was he was always broken. I have always loved a broken man and I'm a very different woman now then I was then. I've evolved while he broke into smaller pieces.

I seem to interact with men that give me those "little" 2 x 4's upside the head. Here and in my "real" life. Working on killing the dream of the life I thought was going to be. The thought of a new life, dating, new men, it's just UGGGG. I can own the fact that part of it is comfort. I know that no matter what I look like or feel there was a man there. He NEVER made me feel ugly with all my surgical scars and stretch marks. Are there other men out there that can be like that and respect me and love me completely and whom I can trust.....I think so. Am I terrified to find out. You know it! I don't want to do the work to find out. Laziness? I choose to want him, partly, out of laziness? I need to figure that out

[TSquared2]

I think we all process those thoughts and feelings during this process, I certainly have. I know there are women out there who I would be very happy with, maybe even a better match...

Do I want to start over? No. Not really. Not yet.

Would I? Yes.

But I feel I have a need for some space before even driving up to that trailhead, IF I have to hike it.

I will need time to get W out of my system, and she is rather in my system still. For my sake, my kids sake, and any potential new partner's sake.

But I'm not there yet. Keeping my focus on today, aside from all my war gaming scenarios...naturally...

Just some meandering thoughts.

[Whiterose]

I may not have an option on starting over. That or be alone.
I'm "that" girl. The one terrified of ending up alone. I've always wanted to be married. I like being married. I like coming home to a man. Cooking for him. Going on dates with him.

Do I want h so that I can say I'm married? So that I don't have to go out and start all over a again? Or do I love him enough to see this through until the end and wait for him to work his sh!t out? Then work on that trust AJ.

I need to figure out why am I sticking this out????