Wife says she wants to leave

[labug]

I'm going to comment on a few things and it's not to pick on your but to give you another perspective. I think you're really trying to figure this out and are very receptive, so take this as it's meant. Another POV.

For the past few months I have been doing EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. I wanted to do everything I could to make her happy.

You say you wanted to do those things so watch out if resentment is cropping up. You did those things because you WANTED to, it didn't work.

But it becomes apparent that doing things for others doesn't always work in the way we want it too. We also don't really know what the other person wants unless they tell us.
Have you heard about the 5LL book? Love languages is an important concept.

I think that it really made me look weak in her eyes.

Did she tell you that? Otherwise you don't know how it made you look. Keep the focus on you, did it make you feel weak? Is doing all those things, all the time the kind of husband you want to be?

When it becomes an every day, last minute occurance I am obviously being used.

Again, watch the judging and mind-reading because it creates a very different story in your head that colors your interactions with W. You don't know why she's asking you to pick up D, if you can't or don't want to, say that but don't base it on your judgment about what W is doing. That's a victim response.

We all tend to be victims in the beginning, moving away from that quickly is so important.

You're asking a lot of good questions and making positive moves. Keep it up.