I went to my first alanon meeting tonight. It was much less scary than I thought. Only 6 people so that was nice for the first time. I stumbled through an intro of what brought ne there. I don't really remember what I said but I did notice some heads nodding in agreement.
Came home and H was his usual nasty self. I am watching him spiral out of control. He doesn't even look the same anymore. Even his face is different.
I don't know if me getting whole and healthy and working on my control issues and anxieties will have any positive effect on him. I do know (hope) that if he ever takes control of his life and gets to a place where he thinks about his family again he will find a much stronger me.
This is a great post, Julie. Glad the meeting was better than you thought if would be.
Did you hear the 3 Cs at the meeting, I didn't cause it, I can't control it, I can't cure it.
His stuff is his.
(((JG)))
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
