Wife says she wants to leave

[labug]

Cc, this is where you have to decide what kind of man/husband/father you want to be and what kind of marriage you desire.

If what you're working feels good to you and works for W and D then it's probably good.

I would be leery of judging the reasons your W doesn't pick up D. I'm not saying don't tell her no (and this is a fineline distinction) but do it because it's what you need, not based on what she's doing or not doing.

Does that make sense? This is how you begin to build personal boundaries, something most of us here are realllly bad at doing. The only boundaries we've ever used were when we were really resentful and lashed out or got P/A.

Make this about you, that's why I say so often "keep the focus on you"-don't play the victim and become resentful due to your W's actions, decide what's right for you and follow through on setting boundaries. Believe it or not it will improve Rs in the long run because people know what to expect from you.