on the edge pt 2

[dingo]

Thanks for the responses guys. I know its one day at a time. Actually its more like one hour at a time right now. Everything seems to be a trigger but that is anticipated and I am dealing as best as I can.

We have our work Christmas party tonight and she and I had been looking forward to it for a few weeks before things got really bad. I will to my very best to have a good time but I am preparing myself to experience some grief that she isnt there with me.

I know nobody can predict what will happen and as hard as this is, I know it is the ONLY way for me to move forward - towards a reconciliation with her or towards my life without her.

I wish I had done those things more when she was still living at the house and I had the chance for them to have the maximum effect on her CCZ28. I got lulled back into thinking that the R was on track and also was paranoid about her taking the time that I was out to hang with the OM. It seemed so right at the time but in hindsight, it did more damage than good.

Thanks for your encouraging words as well CL. That is sort of what I have been envisioning. I have been going to the gym with a buddy from work 3 days a week so I think that has been helping a lot. I am at the point where you were - tired and sad but realizing that this is all necessary. I am hoping that with me gone, the fairy tale will wear off for her too.

It really helps to just come on here and blab away and to read your responses. Thank you all for that!!