Wife Said She's Done

[melissag]

I don't think that your W beginning the D process means that things are hopeless. Depending on what state you are in, the process is likely to take several months, at least.

The more I think about this, I was completely blindsided by this D. I mean her mind must have been made up long before she even brought up the D to me.

She would tell me that she hates that I drink so much and we need to get help, but that's as far as it went. Then it went strait into the BIG D and she is full speed ahead, and looking back.

I guess Im making excuses, but I feel like she hasn't done everything should could have to save this M. (especially now)

This kind of thinking isn't helpful. We can all agree with you that she didn't do enough to save the M, but so what? SHE thinks she did. And she thinks YOU didn't. So now is your opportunity to do everything you can by putting in the effort and expecting nothing from her. Placing the blame on her is the easy way out, but you will certainly end up D and probably bitter. Don't choose that path.