Last night was the first night that W has slept at home. She slept in "her bedroom" downstairs. It was hard knowing that she was so close, yet so far away.
However, her girlfriend came over and stayed the night. I guess my problem with this is, when she said she wanted a separation, she said that she needed time to herself. TIME TO HERSELF. I think she has maybe had one or two days that she has actually been alone. Does she really want time to herself, or was that her way of saying, time without you.
Should I mention anything? Like, "You haven't really spent much time to yourself since the separation"???
Smaller issues:
I have always seeked her out before I go to work. I tell her goodbye and have a nice day and used to end with a kiss and a hug. Do I even do this anymore? Should I just leave for work and not say anything? She never seeks me out.
Same thing at bed time. Do i go downstairs and tell her goodnight? Or do I just go to sleep?
Positive's.
I worked on being more of a leader last night.
I took the lead during dinner time, had my D help set the table. Asked W to get everyone something to drink and help D get ready for dinner.
D had a small meltdown and wanted to watch TV. I calmly went over and turned off the tv and said, "You can either sit here and cry and the tv stays off, or you can come over and ask us nicely to help you and we can turn the tv on."
She cried for about 20 seconds, and then slowly made her way into the kitchen to ask mom if she could watch tv. I said, "You need to ask me." It really worked great, she asked politely and I helped her with the tv.
W even said, "listen to daddy, he's in charge"
After dinner I took care of the kitchen, and asked W if she could please fold the laundry that I had set out.
Ohh yeah, Earlier in the day, on my way home from work, my W ALWAYS calls at the last minute (since db) and asks... can you pick up D.. I have to work late, I have to get my nails done, or whatever excuse she comes up with. ( she works about 10 min from D daycare, I work about 30 min away) And usually I will just do it to make her happy.
Instead, I said No. And it felt good. I think I will start saying No more often.
(Please understand that before BD, there were certainly times when she would need me to pick up D, but since BD it has literally been about 95% of the time. Feeling USED)
I felt like I did a really good job displaying more self confidence last night, even while she was not in the best of moods and seemed much colder than the last few days. (As accuray said she may be. push and pull, push and pull) I rolled with it. She actaully came to my bedroom last night to ask if I wanted to go with her to a live show with D, so we ordered tickets. And if anything else, it will be a nice time, simply because I know my d will enjoy it.
