not as scared or confused. . still hopeful (II)

[juliegayle]

I went to my first alanon meeting tonight. It was much less scary than I thought. Only 6 people so that was nice for the first time. I stumbled through an intro of what brought ne there. I don't really remember what I said but I did notice some heads nodding in agreement.

Came home and H was his usual nasty self. I am watching him spiral out of control. He doesn't even look the same anymore. Even his face is different.

I don't know if me getting whole and healthy and working on my control issues and anxieties will have any positive effect on him. I do know (hope) that if he ever takes control of his life and gets to a place where he thinks about his family again he will find a much stronger me.