BG most days I am right there with you. .why, how, what. Most days I come with a whole list of possibilities. Some may have some validity. Most are probably way off. All are really just to make myself feel better (An example of one of my favorites. .. H continues to get more and more hostile because he is starting to realize he screwed up. ... I am sure that is not remotely true but it makes me feel better for a second)

So that is most days still but on GOOD days I am able to say it is not for me to know why or how. It is his life. I only have to worry about my life. It is actually kind of liberating.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15