Now i am aware that "Hey" is never gonna be beneficial to me,he hasn't seen this pattern yet, and I'll just keep that to me.
H said he would come over this weekend to do a few things-nothing important.
today he explains that he has a course this weekend that just came up and he explained he had things to do but the leader was insistent so.....
Now that explanation was verbatim (pretty much)
I said that it wasn't my decision to make and he could choose whatever and it really didn't affect me. Just as long as he realized that I would not be the bad guy in this. As in do the work at the house and feel resentful towards me. Or go and feel guilty then feel resentful towards me. That the decision was his to make.
He then replied that he wasn't asking.
So I said Be Clearer in your statement then.
He admitted he had stated as a question and it is still hard for him to do things for himself if someone else is put out (I am not explaining that correctly)
He aslo admitted that he still has a hard time making decisions. I gently suggested that perhaps it was because then he had to take full responsibility for his actions because he decided for him and no one else. I also said that I had the same problem, but in reverse. I would make everyone's decisions and then blame others when the decision didn't work out.
So, we are both working on taking the full responsibility for our decisions. Him to make his own and handle the consequences, me to make my own ONLY and handle the consequences.
He then posted on FB about freedom and how it is a gift and doesn't necessarily mean the end of something..blah blah.
Oh he also lamely added to have D take out the Christmas lights and he would put them up Saturday night. I said the lights weren't an issue and he should think about staying up at the mountain at his friend's place if he is having a good time (it's a two day course) Not, I said that you are not wanted here, you might just enjoy the company.
I basically called him out on his appeasement issue. The lights aren't so technical that I can't handle it myself lol. But he has to start taking control of his own life
