Wife Said She's Done

[OneDay]

I'm curious why you threw that bolded part in, do you think she's being hypocritical? There is a HUGE difference between drinking 3-5 drinks a night and just having a social drink now and then.

No i dont think she is hypocritical I know I had a problem with drinking and part of me has to thank her for the D wake up call, otherwise I dont think I would have stopped drinking

So why would she think now is any different? What are YOU doing differently this time? DB'ing is about you putting forth 100% of the effort and not expecting anything of her for now.

I am going to counseling and trying to be more patient around her and the kids, trying to listen to her better and find out if there is anything she needs of me. I wake up early now and help with the morning kid routine (something I never use to do before) I dont know what else to do right now.

I am not an expert on alcoholism, but I've been around others who went through this and this is a pretty common excuse, and usually not at all true. My dad used to say he was a "happy drunk", but he wasn't, he was abusive and violent. Your W's perception of how you are/ were when drunk may be quite different than yours.

Your right, thank you for your honest. She did say I wasnt angry (most of the time) but either way said I was different and didn't like me one bit when I was drinking.

That's a great start. You also need counseling, and probably anon. But 5 weeks is just a start, your W is going to need to see months and months of consistent, improved behavior before she starts to believe the changes are real and not just tricks to get her back.

Great Point, your right, its going to take way more than 5 weeks, but I dont think I have that long, see below UPDATE. I have been going to counseling ever since she said she wanted me out.

You shouldn't have moved out to begin with, but move back in if you can. If she decides to move out then let her, don't try to stop her.

She wanted me out and was very animate about it. So I said I would leave for awhile. I've been back home for a few days now and I sleep on the couch.

UPDATE. As of today she said she complete the initial filing for divorce and that someone would be contacting me about the papers. She said she didnt want them to come to my work or home while the kids were home so she thought it would be best if they talked to me first.

Am I too late to save this M?