NEW LIFE / NEW ME - AIRBORNE II

[Fartiltre]

Pleasant day!

When I drove by W to pick up the bag today she was home again – this might be the new normal!

She saw my car and when I got out she came to the door with the bag. She handed me some pictures that was taken at D6s School – she had ordered and paid for an extra copy for me. We talked a little about this. Then she asked about the hunt with S10 yesterday. I posted this on FB and she gave it a like. I told her about the day, how exited S10 and how proud I had felt for some time. We talked about some issues with D6s using bad language and some other subjects.
She talked a lot about friends visiting D6.

I used many more words than normal, I laughed, kept eye-contact – it all! Only thing to mention is that now I feel awkward doing this. The strict LRT so far has rooted itself and now I need to change it again. With this in mind I believe the meet-up went very well.
We talked for 5-6 min. compared to the normal 2-3 min.
We didn’t hug when we met up and when I left, I simply touched her arm and said goodbye.
When I left she wished us a nice Christmas-party on Saturday and told me to say hi to all.

Then I picked up the Ds – so good to see them!!!
While driving back and forth from supermarket to girlscouting and back again I passed Ws house three times this evening. Normally I don’t feel like looking but today I did. She just sat there at a table and I felt sorry for her! Don’t exactly know why but she just looked lonely and writing this I realize that all of this has ruined her life-dream. I hope she finds room to forgive me and herself at some later point!

I also had a short talk with a friend today. This is the friend that W cried at few weeks ago. He is very close to me and still have contact with W. I told him that the last few times I have mentioned W he has been very silent and I told him that I needed for us to clarify on this. He stated that this wasn’t on purpose and afterwards I told him that I respected him for keeping confidentiality with both me and W. It ended with him saying that he has known me for 20 years or so and only very few times has he been confused about me, my opinions and my goals – now is one of those times. I told him that I was confused as well and that’s properly is what he is feeling. I also told him that if W came tomorrow and asked to move back in I properly wouldn’t know what to respond.
He stated that he and his W like W and I told him that I know and understand. Then I asked him if at any point he had felt me wanting him to choose side and he told me no.
It was a nice and good talk. I feel good about not addressing this until now.

Yesterday I hunted with S10 and today a stag got hit by a car where I live. The deer was brought to me to be fixed and D6 was so awesome and curious. She ended up with the heart in her hands and when I finished she carried it to the kitchen. She and I cleaned the heart from the stag and the deer S10 and I shot yesterday – tomorrow we will cook them
Afterwards we ate dinner at neighbors!