Well thanks for the response. I to thought about butting in also but sex talk has always been difficult for my wife so I did not want to embarrass her. I am still testing the waters though. We met in NYC this past weekend with our daughter. It was a good family trip. Everything fell into place perfectly. The holidays have always been important to her. I guess all I can do is keep going with our situation day by day. We don't talk about anything concerning us and our marriage but we still plan for the future together.
Wife emotionally checked out 2 years ago ILYBNLWY 2/1/2013 M-48, W-40 D-9 Living together in separation for daughter
Well I feel like I am drifting around in the horse latitudes. There has been a whole lot of nothing going on. I am a little confused about where to go from here on this forum. Since neither one of us has officially left our house we are just going on day by day. Except for the physical intimacy we are pretty normal. I did ask her if she wanted to have casual uncommitted sex the other night. I thought that it was appropriate since neither one of us could sleep. Why not past the time with some sex so I texted her while she was downstairs watching TV. She never responded so I guess her answer was no! I never asked her. My wife seems more like a midlife crises than a walk away spouse. She and we never discuss us, our relationship and our future other than what we need to do together. Since there is no intimacy I feel like I am just waiting for the day when she blows up again. 1)Should I just leave everything alone and keep working on me? My wife is the type of person that will hold things in and say nothing until some catalyst causes an explosion later. I watch that happen between her parents and brother from time to time so I know that it is in her to act that way. 2)Should I start posting in another area like sex starved marriage or Midlife crises to get some feedback? Help!!!
Wife emotionally checked out 2 years ago ILYBNLWY 2/1/2013 M-48, W-40 D-9 Living together in separation for daughter
Ugh! 14th anniversary tomorrow. She has been extremely distant for the last few days. I am assuming since I have not brought up our anniversary at all. She has always questioned me when our wedding date was in the past. I guess to see if I was actually there. Hell I even posted that it was Dec. 9th. but it is actually tomorrow the 5th. Since my 180 has been different from what is considered "normal", since I was always distant I have been the opposite not pursuing just involved with my daughter which also ends up involving my wife. I bought her a painting from an artist that she likes. Not too expensive. I left it hidden at home since I am working out of town and will call her tomorrow and give it to her that way. It may be a bit too much but I don't think so. I haven't made any plans together afterwards.
Wife emotionally checked out 2 years ago ILYBNLWY 2/1/2013 M-48, W-40 D-9 Living together in separation for daughter
That sounds like a good approach to the anniversary in your case.
Do not assume you know why she's been distant, just do what you're doing because you mean it and it is appropriate, not to get a reaction or prevent a reaction from her. Have zero expectations about how your gift is going to be received.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
You are right and that makes complete sense. Do it because it is the right thing to do and don't ask or expect anything in return. Thanks for the advice. I will let you know how it goes.
I have another question if you are willing. Should I ever ask my wife if she is planning on a divorce? Why I ask is because my wife has always been very vague when in comes to following through with what she says she is going to do. I.E... She said that ILYBINILWY and wanted a separation, but we never separated. She has said that she is done with our marriage and wants to liver her life before it is too late yet we continuously plan for a future together. I am just curious because I see that you had an in home separation for what looks like a year and 1/2. We have had zero intimacy going on 2 years now. When is it ok to ask about us and her intentions or is that something I should never do? Any insight or advice would be appreciated.
Wife emotionally checked out 2 years ago ILYBNLWY 2/1/2013 M-48, W-40 D-9 Living together in separation for daughter
