Hey DMR, I didn't realize you had a new thread and kept reading my email for updates. How long was that thing anyway, 18 or 19 pages I think right? LOL!
Oh your poor W. How awful to be feeling so stressed and sad and unable to sleep. As you well know, with your crazy work hours, not sleeping makes it so much worse. I know what you mean when you say you don't think she's really suicidal at all. I think with my H (he says that kind of depressed sounding stuff often) that he doesn't care if he lives or dies but doesn't actually want to die, if that makes any sense.
Putting up a Christmas tree will be good for her PMA! Will you have two? I'm glad she paid the tax bill on "her" house and chipped in for yours. That's a big load off your mind!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Linda, glad you found me. Yeah, I locked one up finally, so couldn't link from it to here. Is there an easy way to know how many posts there are on a thread beside manually checking the start and end post number?
Anyway, I finally started watching users instead of threads. Couldn't keep up. As it is, I feel I'm not giving back enough because I can't keep up with the new or active posts.
Sadly, I know that feeling about just not caring about life. I've said myself, when really down about life, that I wish I wouldn't even wake up in the morning. It's just so sad that we can feel so trapped in our work/situation/whatever is keeping us from being happy.
Forgot to mention, last week, I think, before the marathon 4-days together over Thanksgiving, after she had stayed over - and of course I had stayed up way late and slept on couch - she mumbled something and put an extra blanket over me as she was leaving for work. She can't stand that I either kick the blankets off or sleep with one thin blanket. It was a bit cold, even for me. And I appreciated the gesture.
That was a sweet gesture Guess what I'm back online YAY!!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Had a bad week with headache, gastro and stomach problems. But yesterday I forced myself to exercise and starved my blood sugar in line - well, insuline helped.
W has had migraine for 2 days - bad week for both of us. And it's cold and nasty out, so she's probably staying hunkered down at other place today.
I have 2 more vacation days.... Do I brave the cold and the cab fair to go into town? A nice brisk walk in below freezing weather is a good thing to perk me up, right? Or I could blow even more and go to the mall and walk amongst the shopping madness. Too bad I'm broke. Although, W new how broke I was this pay period and offered to give me some money twice. Damnable pride....
Accept the money Would you do the same if she was broke? It's nearly Christmas and you need some money at the mo Sorry you're feeling poorly again Why is it we always get poorly when it's vacation time? Typical!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
What a day. Blood sugar was ok this morning. Didn't need any insulin. But I ate Cheerios (and too many at that) and was rewarded with BS of 300 before lunch. Lunch was thin, low carb, soup - chicken broth and leftover turkey. Kind of like prison camp rations. LOL - I just tossed out a good bit of a rotisserie chicken, so had to raid the turkey I froze after Thanksgiving. The liquid diet is good today because my gastro symptoms are acting up, too. And I was proud of myself for starving/eating low carb yesterday. Ugh.:(
It's my fault - I've been on the PC or in front of the TV way too much. But it's below freezing, and I'm broke, so going into town is iffy. And I'll eat out or eat junk at a movie most likely if I go there. Costs a lot more to go to the mall, where I can at least walk indoors - but it's the mall! At Christmas!!!! And I'm broke. Did I mention that? I would benefit from cleaning house from end to end (it needs it!).
And there's a huge, unheated storage room full of crap to go through still (was going to do that as part of the move that never happened). I like to call it the cold storage room. The only heat in huge front room is a wood stove I only fire up once or twice a year, and usually only to try to sort through all that junk - it's only defeated me for three years!
Not getting on the roof to check on leak any time soon either. Below freezing for foreseeable forecast. Maybe I'll bundle up and go for a walk anyway. Maybe it'll motivate me to do some physical work. Not what I would like to do with my last vacation days of the year. Never managed to get to CT to visit my college friend. Maybe next year. I feel like a hamster in a cage - that's been neglected - I meant the cleaning, but the hamster could use some love, too. LOL. I just don't feel like going around on my wheel (exercise gear).
All the things I can think to do are work, chores, etc. Even on the PC - I need to finish an online course - on debt/finances. Blerg. And I need to follow up on some resources they gave me after my stress reduction class. I miss the class and being forced to get out once a week. And there's no end to the organizing/sorting/filing of all my digital crap - pictures, music, movies. Been working on some video ripping that's taken scads of time. I like to do this stuff, but too much of it (being on computer - for work and hobbies) is literally killing me.
I haven't gone into a fit of depression, though. I just have trouble getting moving in the winter. I want to be like a squirrel or bear and hibernate. And the health problem is just what I have to deal with. My problem is I love food like... well, second only to the other thing guys think about all the time! Except the food is much easier to get!!!!!
I have to treat it like an addiction as much as a diet.
Hope you feel better soon MH STOP EATING SUGARY STUFF!! lol. There's your foam 2x4 Now then here's another 2x4 for you. Stop stressing about jobs that haven't been done yet. Make yourself a list, then break down that list into smaller portions Anyway, don't talk to me about stress, I've got enough of my own thank you very much, lol. Update again on my thread Now go away and take a chill pill, but not until you've read and commented on my thread again lol just kidding
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
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Lunch was thin, low carb, soup - chicken broth and leftover turkey. Kind of like prison camp rations. LOL - I just tossed out a good bit of a rotisserie chicken, so had to raid the turkey I froze after Thanksgiving. The liquid diet is good today because my gastro symptoms are acting up, too. And I was proud of myself for starving/eating low carb yesterday. Ugh.:( 
