but also would like a chance to try to use this new perspective with him moving back home, although I don't know if he is ready.
There is NO WAY he is ready after a 12 day S. Do not pressure him to move back in, it'll just drive him farther away.
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How do I approach our marriage counseling session tomorrow? I feel that he has built a wall up between us and has a little fortress of solitude at his cousin's house (where he is staying). What sort of questions should I be asking, what attitude to use? Should I try to see if he would have a goal date to return home?
Does he even want to go? If he doesn't then don't make him. Your money is better spent on a DB coach. MC is PRESSURE at a time the WAS wants NO pressure. I honestly don't know of a single example of MC bringing a WAS back home. What works is REMOVING all the pressure and giving them time and space. That means no reaching out, no convo's about the M, no talk about moving back in, etc.
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How can I use the techniques in the book if we are not together most of the time?
The book tells you to get out, get a life, give your H time and space, show him PMA when you see him, work on yourself, make yourself into the spouse only a fool would leave. The whole point of the book is "it takes one to tango", IE, you do all the work. He doesn't need to be around all the time to see the positive effects of DB'ing.
