She has been asking me for a few years to stop drinking and dipping and that we needed to get help. (She Drinks Occasionally)
I'm curious why you threw that bolded part in, do you think she's being hypocritical? There is a HUGE difference between drinking 3-5 drinks a night and just having a social drink now and then.
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When she mentioned we needed help, I would tell her that she could go get help, because the last couple times we went to counseling it seemed like things would change for a bit, then go back to the way they were.
So why would she think now is any different? What are YOU doing differently this time? DB'ing is about you putting forth 100% of the effort and not expecting anything of her for now.
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Now even though I would drink, I would still be productive,and help with the kids.
I am not an expert on alcoholism, but I've been around others who went through this and this is a pretty common excuse, and usually not at all true. My dad used to say he was a "happy drunk", but he wasn't, he was abusive and violent. Your W's perception of how you are/ were when drunk may be quite different than yours.
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So I stopped drinking and dipping, Started working out and going to church while I stayed at my mothers house for 5 weeks.
That's a great start. You also need counseling, and probably anon. But 5 weeks is just a start, your W is going to need to see months and months of consistent, improved behavior before she starts to believe the changes are real and not just tricks to get her back.
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I told her I was coming home and she did not like that at all.
You shouldn't have moved out to begin with, but move back in if you can. If she decides to move out then let her, don't try to stop her.
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She has not filled for divorce yet, but tells me she's done. We really dont talk about it too much.
All WAS's say that, but some do decide to reconcile later. It's best not to talk about it. See Sandi's rules.
