He is upset that I went to my mom and sister. He said he would never throw me under the bus to his family. It changes their perception and it's not fair. I kind of see his point. But I don't think I would be entirely upset if he went to his sister or mom for advice. He is more upset about what they said and doesn't think he can ever face them again after knowing what they said about him.
I actually don't disagree with him.
There is a danger in getting your family involved with your marital disputes, because although they will be on your side, they don't always share your priorities. A lot of people think that if a marriage has too many problems then you just walk away and start over. And your family is likely to encourage you to leave because they don't want to see you hurt yourself by staying.
As for his not being able to face them because of what they said about him? Again, he bears much of the responsibility for that. What do you think they will say about him it if turns out he is seeing someone on the side? Will they commend you for standing by him and trying to work things out? Or will they tell you to dump his lying, cheating ass?
Originally Posted By: Lll54
I don't know what to say to make this better.
Well, start by telling him that you won't discuss it with your family any more. And don't. Ask him what he wants to do to try to work things out.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
