It's Not Over 'Till It's Over

[Fight4MyWife]

Thank you very much FlyOnTheWall for reading my thread & taking the time to comment, it is really appreciated.

I had a really good, positive 4 or 5 weeks, but then we started discussing financials & mediation etc. Plus with the festive season now upon us the last week or 2 has been a regression & back to feeling very emotional again.

I think I probably do always have in my mind that she might "come to her senses" and change her mind.

It was only 6 months ago we were talking about growing our family etc and providing a brother/sister for our son. I can not believe she can just abandon these ideas/plans so easily.

I never wanted my son to be an only child and if I had thought there was any chance this would be happening I wouldn't have had a child to put them through this.

It is the thought of my son growing older that makes me feel more desperate to "fix" this quickly. I think if my son wasn't around I would find it much easier to give her space & let go, but because of my son I feel like it's more urgent & much harder to be patient.

I try not to have any expectations but when a few weeks goes by and she still talks like "it's over" I still always feel disappointed & get emotional again.

A couple of friends have asked me today to go away on holiday for a week in January. I don't really feel like it but I should probably just force myself & go.

I can be strong, positive and "act as if" for a period of time but really it is just acting, deep down I just want my family back together, so I don't seem to be able to keep it up permanently.