"A woman has to respect her H as a man before she can feel sexual attraction to him. If he will let her show disrespect for him by the way she speaks and her attitude toward him (especially in front of their kids and other people), then she will begin to feel contempt and she will get mean. She keeps pushing his boundaries b/c she keeps hoping he will find the guts to stand up to her. I don't even know that every woman is aware she is "testing" her H at that time, but I believe every woman's behavior will ultimately get worse toward a H who becomes a door mat. Being passive does not keep the peace in a MR. It destroys passion and eventually it will destroy her love for him b/c she has no respect for him."
Obviously I am having a very hard time with this. While I haven't cried, my wife has experienced me rationalizing, begging, coercing and forgiving her steps across our relationship boundaries. I feel like I have done a pretty poor job by doing all of that but she has always held the divorce card as her trump - knowing that I don't want that. Is she saying that she really wants me to give her a divorce? That seems to be the only thing I can do to stand up to her at this point.
You gave me 'go dark' advice and as soon as this damn moving week is over, thats exactly what I plan to do. I know its never too late until the papers are signed but how does she ever gain respect for me knowing that I know she is continuing to contact the OM and not kicking her ass out the door?
Me:38 W:39 No Children BD: 5/13 EA/PA Confirmed: 7/13 W Moved out 12/13
