RealityTrip is back from her voyage into "Me" Land

[RealityTrip]

W went to 2nd IC counseling session yesterday. She was not skip happy afterward like she was the first time. Good sign I think. Hopefully they got into some real emotions. I didn't ask a thing about it. That's got to be her safe space.

From there I took her to the airport for her final business trip of the year. Her affection these past few days, since xAP's marital "reconcilius interruptus" letter, has receded. It took me a minute to figure that out. I noticed that it has the capacity to hurt my feelings, so I made the decision to pull back to my safety zone. At the airport for our goobye, she hugged me and cheek pecked. She turned to walk away and looked back to say "drive safely". Not the full on kiss and "I love you" from last time. Duely noted. If you need some space to be in your head, I will give it to you.

When I got home last night I put on my pj's, ate take out dinner and baked cookies. Then parked it in front of the fire in the den, while watching prime time comedy's on DVR. A little me time. Then it was a book in bed. I konked out by 9pm. I woke when she called me after arriving at the hotel at 10pm to say goodnight.

I awoke really stressed this morning. About the same time W called last night, older sis did too. Mom is back in the hospital. (she has chronic conditions that will eventually take her from us) W has surgery on Tue. and Mom is out of state. I was feeling overwhelmed on where I am supposed to be. But I talked to Mom (she's doing fine)and prayed. I know that my sister will tell me if I need to come... and I will. W will be fine here with help from her family.

W and I got a Christmas tree Monday night. It's my job to put the lights on it while she's away and we will decorate it together when she comes home. That's what I will be doing tonight. I'm looking forward to being together for the holidays but she has said more that once that she's not in the spirit. Really odd for her. But depression is what it is. I will lead by example and deck the freakin' halls! lol!

So my plan for today is to breathe and release the worry that is trying to build up in my life. I can't control anyone else. Just me and the energy I put into the world. This morning on the Alt a friend posted what I think will be my mission today:

"People will stop asking you stupid questions if you answer back in interpretive dance."

Ha! Step Ball Change... Jazz hands.... Come on Ruby, I know your out there dance partner!