Nah, she was as "gone" as "gone" gets already. I think what I've learned over the last 18 months is that nothing I've said or done has changed that for her in the least. She is totally gone. I was cleaning some stuff off my computer and found all my notes from the MC we went through in June of last year. W said to the C that she felt "ambivalence" towards me. That word describes her attitude perfectly. There's no anger, hatred, spewing or anything of the sort. There's also no love or even "like" expressed. She's been completely ambivalent throughout. In the stories of reconciliation I've read, the WAS typically either continued to show some interest or they went to the opposite extreme of showing hostility. I've never read about an ambivalent, low-energy WAS that reconciled. The thing is, if a spouse is showing anger then they still have some kind of emotions for the spouse. And it's easier for negative emotions to transition to positive emotions then it is for love to emerge out of the absence of all emotion.
That describes my situation to a tee... no emotion at all. Funny thing is her father does the same thing, when angry at someone he disown's them and will refuse to speak at all for years. Coincidence??
What you did was state a boundry and take some of your power back. If X happens y and z will follow, period. I think at some point we need to be able to state our limits. What kind of life/relationship should we have? One full of second guesses and constant worry about what was said or a life where our SO accepts that we are all not perfect, forgives and tries to improve...
As long as that is how you feel and not a ploy to force her back and from your post's I don't think it's a tactic...
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
