Hi Dragon my friend,
I think you needed to change the dynamic too. And, you said some things to her you probably needed to say.

She does sound depressed, I remember feeling like that, that I had no idea how to help myself. It would have been so awesome if my H had done what you did and expressed your concern over it. I miss that he wasn't there for me. I think it was wonderful that you let her know you were there and concerned for her.

We don't always have to be db, there are things that have to be said.

Now that you've said it, let it lie for a few and see what happens.

Me:49 H:47
S: 16
T:27 M:25
My EA: 2001
His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013
Separated, but H still in house

Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.