Hi Rosa Linda. I used to get the grunt responses, usually without any eye contact. If you don't address it you will continue to get the same. What worked pretty well for me was this: I'd look her right in the eye, and in a most pleasant manner say something like "Pardon me? I didn't hear what you said".
She would usually reply back in a more respectful manner. After enough times of doing this the grunting behavior pretty much went away. I still get one here or there, and will sometimes just let it go. I don't have to make an issue out of everything.
Since like us, you guys live together, you can really turn this kind of rude behavior around quickly if you work on it.
Do you guys ever argue? It doesn't seem like you do. How did you both work out differences during the better times? You know it's normal and even beneficial to have some arguments with your spouse as long as you do it properly.
I'm not suggesting you go and pick a fight, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and have your say. Besides, if you hold it in too long you're likely to blow up on him when you can't take it any longer. Better to say something constructive before that happens!
Do this and you will feel better about yourself, because action gives you a sense of control. Plus you never know... it also may be the reality H needs right now to help him decide to move out of his funk.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
