We had a nice weekend down at his parent's place. Felt kind of weird to be back at their home, but it felt comforting. His family was very welcoming. I had been nervous because I didn't know how much everyone knew (if anything) about our separation. Right away my sister in law came up to me and gave me a big hug. She kept saying how much she had missed me. I told her I had missed her as well. Then I told her that she was going to make me cry, then we both started crying! It was a touching moment, one that I will never forget. I am tearing up right now!
H was acting kind of distant and of course I thought the worse of it. I realize it's a fault I have that I jump to conclusions. I tend to overanalyze, while at the same time, realizing that I shouldn't think the worse of everything, if that makes sense. He has been acting kind of stressed out and moody lately. I'm not sure if it has to do with his university course or me.
I haven't been the greatest DB-er. To me it seemed a lot easier when he was silent-moody-distant-not talking H. Then I focused on myself and my own happiness. Now there are a lot more layers involved. He is open and communicative, and more talkative and happy. And then when he shows the slightest bit of pulling away I think the worse and my mind starts to wander to negative/worrying thoughts. Hmm.. I am starting to think I need to get back to how things were when I was DB'ing better.
To boot, my emotions have been ALL over the place! I am acting like a crazy lady! In the past week I have been acting needy and pressuring. I have done an ok job of DB'ing until the past couple of weeks. Someone please hit me with a 2x4!! I feel like I am ruining everything and doing things I know I shouldn't be doing. I am going to think of some new 180's and goals and post them soon. Oh boy!
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
