I rather like the idea of running it past your lawyer. Put the brakes on the process - not unwarranted - you need time to assess the ideas and concepts and it would be very unwise to jump to an agreement. Your lawyer is there to advise you of these types of things.
And you do hold all the right cards. He wants something you have. That's how negotiations work. If you take the emotions out of it, and you should, you'll see it differently. You do however, need to come to terms with the idea he is going through with this. The sooner you do that, the better for you and your family. Once you do that, and once your realize this is an Irish Love Story (no happy ending) you'll be much better able to handle this.
Your marriage is over. Your relationship with him is over (as you knew it). There are the legal matters to be dealt with, and as my grandmother once mentioned, "If (he) wants to go, pack his cra* and help him!"
I think it's time you went the other direction and pushed little baby out the door. For your own sake, stand up and refuse to be treated this way emotionally. And then you can get down to business.
As for this: [I had asked their opinion based on info from drs and educators and research saying it was helpful for kids to be a part of sons of the decision making and this was a good one for kids to feel part of the discussion with.[/quote]Spot on. I did the same and don't regret a bit of it. There were things I didn't let my ex take. I tried to get her to sign the sep agreement for a very long time. I'm glad I did. And I gave her pretty close to what she asked for - in my case she didn't know what to do with that and I didn't need it. In your case, it's likely different.
If you think he'll be fair, I remind you he is not paying child support now. He should be but isn't, right? He will be less inclined later. Take appropriate action now so that later you have that to fall back on. It's not punishment, it's about getting what you deserve. It's now or never in that regard.
Speak to your lawyer and see what the lawyer advises.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
