The Road Not Taken

[bustingout]

I just love your approach and mindset to all of this Jf. It's inspiring and uplifting. Thank you for keeping me motivated to work on me

[JFun51]

Thanks busting. Things were really rough in my world over the past few days. Yesterday was great to get me back on track. Sunday school, great sermon, lunch with family, painted ceiling in laundry room, ping pong games with both sons, 3 mile run, S10 Christmas play practice, pick out Christmas tree, S12 being manly and getting it up and in the house with me, tuck boys in, watch a little TV and rereading DR before bed.

Keeping my day full is great therapy. Honestly had no idea it was that full until I started typing!

Today is another day. Besides catching up here, it was back to work and S12 has a bball game this evening. Can't wait. I love to watch my boys play ball. I am a proud papa.

[Pudmuddle]

JF, Sounds like you are finding some wonderful and fulfilling things to do, with yourself and your sons. Kids have a wonderful way of filling our hearts and keeping us grounded.

Keep things squishy!

[JFun51]

Last night was a little weird. Went to S12's BBall game and sat with W for only a few minutes. Sat with a couple of friends and talked ball for a while. Moved and sat with my mom and her H for a while. moved to another spot and sat with another couple that is our friends for a while. Had great conversations all around. I did notice that W got up from her seat to go talk to someone else at one point to see where I was at. Went to eat afterwards with a couple and their kids that we usually don't go out with. Not one of our standard companions after a game. Had a great meal and great fellowship with them. It was really nice to spend time with some different people.

At home, W did her thing and I did mine. S12 and I watched football on TV until I fell asleep only to wake up later and turn in as everyone else was asleep. I guess she tucked them in. I've not felt great the last couple of days, so I think I'm trying to fight off some sickness. Been a little extra tired.

Back to work this morning and contemplating a big job move that will really change my life. I've been mulling this over for a couple of years because of the amount of time it takes away from my family. I took last week away from work to pray about it and try to look for guidance into what I should do. I am at a real crossroads in my life and its time to take charge and make a tough decision about who I want to be.

[RosaLinda]

That sounds like a big decision J. Do you mean the new job you are contemplating will take you away from your family more? If so, it might be hard on your boys, with your W so distant. I'm glad she tucked them into bed when you konked out during Monday night football. It's pretty funny how she tracked your progress around the game, talking to different people. They like to pretend that they aren't paying any attention to us, but I've noticed my husband covertly watching me at times.

I'll say a prayer for guidance for you to make the right decision. I have always felt that when you make a decision, and feel relieved and happy, it was the right one!

[tigerlily78]

I had the same issue Rosa had... is it the NEW opportunity that would take you away from the family more? If so, perhaps now isn't the best time.

Maybe the old JFun would have thought the money and the opportunity was a big priority. But I think the new JFun probably realizes that right now your sons needs you more than ever.

Looking back 5 years from now do you think your regret will be, "I wish I had taken that job and gotten the wage increase" or "I regret that I left my children more dependent on W, when she was not in a position to step up and handle it."

I don't know all the details, but I would say anything that makes it harder for you to be there for your sons through this is probably not the right call at this time.

[JFun51]

No Rosa, my job decision I'm contemplating will bring much less stress and much more time with my boys. That's the only reason it's weighing so heavily on me. I know it's the right thing for my family, but it will cost me over 6k a year and put more financial stress on us.

[RosaLinda]

Oh J, sorry, now we see your dilemna. That IS a hard decision. Have you discussed it with your W? It's a big drop in income.

[JFun51]

My W thinks I only want to do it to be around and try to make her love me. I have assured her that this seed was planted 2 years ago long before she went batsh!t crazy. She knows that I've been talking about this move for 2 years, but in her current state won't accept any of my actions for what they are. Just more of the fog.

Currently sitting at a HS basketball game where I've been ignored for hours until I started typing this. Spent time in several places in the gym talking to other friends and enjoying myself. I came to sit behind W and her BFF so that at least I made an effort. Again, hasn't talked to me until she saw me typing.

[AJM]

Be careful with the typing. Do NOT let her know about this site. And do NOT give the impression you are talking to the ladies. When I started on this site, I did similar. But I wasn't as careful. Years later, she tried to accuse me of having an affair because of it. They are hyper-sensitive to what you are doing. Watching you like a hawk and projecting what they can. Don't give her the ammo. ( I work in the tech industry; I know how to lock my phone when I want to, but she went through it anyway. Nothing to see really. Go figure...)

As for the job, funny that isn't it? She thinks that this about her? And about you manipulating her to save the marriage. How dare you? LOL. Don't sweat that part of it. But be cautious of the changes while this is going on. You have a lot on your plate and more change can be a lot to handle. If it's really going to be better for you and the boys in the long run, then it's not a difficult decision. But if it's going to put more stress on you be careful of the decision. Lots of prayer and discernment on this one, my friend.

Peace,
AJ