So - I read his email as saying "I agreed to a price on the house, but you haven't refinanced and gotten me my money yet, when is that going to happen and can't we save money by keeping the court out of it?"
I suppose your answer depends on where you are in the house refinancing issue. Possible replies below:
1) "I cannot refinance the house until our divorce is final. My attorney is sending/has sent you our proposal. If you will agree to it, we certainly do not need to involve a judge"
2) "The mortgage lender wants to see six months of child support checks before they will lend to me; since you have not been paying the support, I apparently need to go to court to get you to comply"
3) "I would be happy to sit down with a mediator once you start paying your child support"
My guess is he wants/needs the money out of the house, but is starting to realize how expensive it is to work with his attorney. Like most WASs, he wanted a zipless divorce and is outraged that you actually want him to pay things like child support and spousal maintenance.
Nonetheless, you need to look like you are moving ahead with matters. HAVE you presented him with a proposal yet? If not, you should get working on one with your attorney ASAP.
Have you figured out what to do about the house yet? If there's no chance of you keeping it, then you may want to use selling it as a bargaining chip to get more of what you need (for instance, I will put it on the market once you've caught up your arrears on the child support). If you are still trying to keep it, or are hoping to get the judge to order that you can stay there until the youngest is 18, then put that in your proposal.
