Sorry you are here. The emotions and confusion you are going through are completely normal and understandable given the situation. We've all been there and can empathize with what you are feeling. It really is the pits, but you can and you will get through this.
Read everything Cadet gave you. Once you do, you will realize that this situation has very little to do with anything you have done or could have done differently. And you will have some strategies and insight that will be VERY helpful as you navigate this painful situation.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."