not as scared or confused. . still hopeful (II)

[juliegayle]

So my PMA has deteriorated somewhat. I just checked my bank account and dislato red there is not enough money to pay S after school program. Turns out on Saturday when I was paying a baby sitter because H and I were both working H wasn't really working. He was spending money.

This was a huge issue before BD and something we always fought about. He would spend wuthout checking if we had the money or thinking about necessary expenses that were coming up. When I would try to get him to sit down and make a budget or discuss how we were going to pay for xyz he would refuse and things would escalate. He always accused me of exaggerating our money problems because I was afraid of ending up like my parents who had filed bankruptcy.

Many people have suggested I get a separate account but I can't cover household expenses on my own and feel I won't get anything from him without access to joint account.

Since BD I have not spoken to him about money. I have continued to shuffle and juggle without talking to him about it. I had foolishly hoped that without me telling him he couldn't spend money he would just stop on his own. I didn't even fuss when he spent 500 on a new pair of glasses. I called tomake arrangements to pay water bill late.

We have a lot more child care expenses this month due to my work schedule. I left H a message that I would like to sit down and discuss finances as well as see if he figured out when he was going to be able to stay home with H over break (I still haven't gotten an answer on that)

I am dreading this conversation. Any ideas how to handle it ???