WR, My first question is...is he suggesting a mediation? Since you have played volley ball a bit, I'm going to suggest that you sit tight and let's see what he comes back with.
You've got to keep your anger in check right now because it's time to play chest or poker, whichever you prefer and in order to get from A to B, you need to be thinking w/a clear head and w/your business hat on. Time for negotiating, you've got something he wants...that is a divorce and he doesn't want to have to spend a lot of money on this in front of a judge. Why? Because he doesn't have the money to do so. This can work to your advantage, but you've got to keep your emotions out of it for now. Come here to vent...but play it cool when dealing with him.
When you get the next response, try to post some of what he says and we will put our heads together and work this out okay?
At some point, you will need to discuss the back support. Here's a suggestion as to how to word the back support issues. "H, the children need clothes, shoes and the basic necessities as they are growing out of their clothes and shoes. Can you assist in providing some, if not all of the back child support to help out with these expenses?" "Also, I inadvertently sent you a reimbursement check that was actually for "state what it was for", could you please either send me the reimbursement check or a check for the actual dollar amount? It will come in handy w/school supplies, dental, etc." You can name whatever it is you need for the boys. You've got to keep his focus on the boys needs and not on you for the moment.
We will be here to help you...whatever you do, don't respond until we've chatted. There is always more than one way to skin a cat and this little stray needs some taming.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
