Who knows, maybe I am really starting to detach for real?
Yeah, it sounds like it! That's a good sign! I had a similar realization when I was at a flea market with a couple of my kids and saw W with OM there. I just said "hello" to them and shook OM's hand (I've casually known him since well before BD). Later when I reflected back on it I was kind of surprised at how ambivalent I was about seeing them together.
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I don't really know what to do with my situation anymore. It is clear that the marriage is completely dead and there will be no reconciling. So, what do I do now?
Survive, then thrive
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Why am I still focused on W in a lot of my thoughts? I have recently started dating. Work has been good. I am able to manage my finances and survive at this point, "kind of".
Give yourself more time, it wasn't that long ago that you were still dealing with a lot of anger and resentment over your sitch. It sounds like you're healing, but it's not an overnight process nor is it linear.
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Life is seemingly moving forward, but it still feels somewhat empty on the inside. I laugh. I enjoy time with friends, but I just don't ever feel complete. I don't know what to do with that. I don't know how to change that.....
I know exactly what you mean. It's gotten a lot better for me over time, but yes, I do still have that feeling of not being "complete". I can't remember how long you were M'd, but it was 20 years plus 4 or 5 of being together before that before BD happened for me. It's a huge, HUGE adjustment going from 25 years of codependence to being single again, so it's no surprise that it might take years to come to full acceptance of the "new normal".
